Monday, September 6, 2010

Insomnia, Inc.

Ahhhh, bedtime. That magical time of night when we all become little sleepyheads. We brush our teeth, we put on something snuggly and comfy (or, if you are like me- something old and tattered that looks like your dog has been playing tug of war with it.)

Ahhh, sleep. Your eyes close, and you begin to feel yourself drift away to dreamland. Sometimes the transition is smooth. Sometimes the landing might be a little bumpy- like when you start to fall alseep and you're barely there, when all of a sudden:

AHHH! You're falling! And the sheer terror jolts you wide awake!
But, you settle back in just as quickly. OR NOT.

See, if you are like me, you have INSOMNIA. Doesn't that just sound like a name they give a crazy person that doesn't sleep? INSOMNIA... It sounds like some sleep deprived zombie or something.

You can close your eyes. You can toss from side to side, front to back. You can put pillows over your face.
(Great, just what you need- if the lack of sleep doesn't get you, maybe the SMOTHERING YOURSELF TO DEATH will do the trick!!!)

You know more about the nightlife of the dogs in the neighborhood than any human ever should.

Tv ON. Tv OFF. Tv ON. Tv OFF.

Your body and mind are locked in a game of "Say Uncle"...

And then there's that CLOCK. That stupid, ugly clock. Just sitting over there on the dresser. MOCKING you. Laughing at you. Taunting you. Reminding you about how it is keeping, with digital accuracy, tabs on every precious millisecond of sleep that you are having robbed from you!

And then, just when you FINALLY just give it up, and your mind just shuts down and says to your body, "Ok, you win! I give up! UNCLE! UNCLE!" Your body has finally twisted the arm of your mind (did that make sense?) It's OVER. You, my friend, are ASLEEP.

You just settle into that place where you feel warm and floaty and comfy.. Then, as one last slap in the face, that alarm clock goes off.


You spring out of bed and attack the clock- beating it to death to get the alarm to stop..

Why won't it shut off?
You throw it! That'll teach you to mess with me, stupid clock!

It's over. INSOMNIA wins again. Another night stolen by the sleep bandit.
Oh well, there's always tomorrow night.

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